Wonky Wednesday

Well, I have definitely come off my high from yesterday. I slept, but it took a substantial dose of sleep meds to help me along. I got up with my husband this morning and saw him off to work and then went back to bed for a little while, but my mind had already begun to spin. So I got up around 7 and took meds and ate breakfast and got online. Then suddenly, in the middle of reading something, I just got up, went to the bed and crashed and laid in the bed for about three hours, semi-awake, just resting my body. It’s hard to relax when you sleep with the CPAP mask on because you have to hold that one position, flat on your back, to keep the mask in place. I flopped there til about lunch time, then got up and ate and took more meds and got online and now I feel somewhat normal and energetic, thought not a laughing lunatic like yesterday. Nothing has yet arisen to amuse me to that degree. I’ll have to check the reports from last night’s Republican National Convention. Perhaps something ridiculous occurred. The odds are good.

Yesterday, I came clean with my husband about my increased spending over the last few days. I knew I was getting out of control. We agreed that I would call and report my credit card stolen so that they would send me a new card. That way, my credit card info that is automatically saved online and in my phone would be useless. He heaved a big sigh when I told him the account balance, but he wasn’t angry. I’m glad he understands and we have the kind of marriage that I can come to him and be honest when I’m struggling and not hide it and get in bigger trouble. I know it can’t be easy to be the partner of someone with a mental illness, but he handles it beautifully. I don’t know if he fully understands it all, but he tries, and he is such a loving support to me. I told my therapist yesterday how he rearranged furniture and set up my writing space for my early birthday present and she was amazed. She said he was very special, and wished others got that kind of support. Me too. Everyone should have a Steve in their life! I am truly blessed. ❤

Still feeling a bit out of sorts. Maybe I need to get offline, and go curl up someplace comfortable with a good book. Always a good choice. What to read? That’s the hard part. I can rattle off suggestions for others, but I have trouble settling on one for myself. I checked our combined Kindle library on Amazon yesterday, and we have 99 books, almost all mine. I should be able to find one. Probably not going to be allowed to buy anymore for a while!

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