Manic Tuesday

​It’s almost time to go see my therapist and I’m nervous. I am full on manic mode right now. I’m bipolar, for those of you that don’t know, and manic means I’m on a high mood swing. It’s kinda fun. I’ve been laughing my butt off all day long, so much that my side hurts. But I’ve got to calm down and get serious now. It’s weird. It feels good, but a little scary, too. Like a roller coaster ride. That’s the easiest way to describe bipolar, I guess. Up and down and all around. Keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times. LOL My brain is running 90 miles per hour stopping on nothing in particular. I had to make myself eat lunch and tell myself when I needed to go to the bathroom because I was so hyper-focused on what I was doing. If I can stay at this level, it’s ok. I’m ok like this. If I get higher there might be trouble. Like when I get in the car. Gotta lay off the gas pedal. I am a speed demon when I’m manic. Gotta focus when I”m driving and not get road rage. Gotta focus at the therapist’s and try to make some progress. Gotta put my credit card up and quit shopping on the internet. I may have to call and ask them to freeze my account. I have to watch my temper when my husband comes home tonight. I have to make up my mind now I am not going to pick a fight with him or respond in anger. I have to be affectionate, but sensitive to his moods. I have to feed him and make myself eat something even though I won’t be hungry. Then, tonight, I will take my nighttime meds and pray they are enough to make me go to sleep and that I am not up  ALL NIGHT LONG as I have spent many other manic nights. (there’s the downside). If I am so blessed, I will sleep, and get up tomorrow and start all over again. Will I be manic tomorrow? With bipolar you get a 50/50 chance. I might be depressed. I might be somewhere in the middle. I just started new meds so I’m guessing I will be at least a little manic again. WEEEEEE!!!!!! 🙂

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